How to handle Wonder Boy
by Banan-nonne
Summary: Basically this is just some daydreams and ideas about how Robin would be treated if I had anything to say. I’m so sick of him overshadowing everything else because he's The Boy Wonder. Sad attempts at humor... a little parody too.
1. He so wished

None of the chapters has anything to do with each other, unless I say so. Enjoy!

**_Disclaimer: _**Come ooon! You know I don't own anything. - I'm not even english for crying out loud! And I don't get profit from writing this stuff either. I'm not talented/smart/greedy enough for that.

How to handle Wonder Boy – First idea. (Although he doesn't get "handled" very much in this chapter)

Also known as:

"He so wished"

Raven sat by the dinner table, her nose buried in The Book of Azar as usual. Cyborg was probably playing video-games, and Starfire was probably cooking up some weird dish from her home-planet, or studying anything that had to do with fungus, but they're not part of this story so why bother to find out? Suddenly the door slid open and out from the corridor stepped everyone's favourite green jokester (No, not Kermit the frog). He was whistling a little cheerful melody, but when he saw Raven sitting at the dinner table, he immediately froze. She took no notice of him; too busy reading the same page over and over again

_(A.N:__ Am I the only one noticing that she never, ever seems to turn the pages in her books?)_

He quickly ran his fingers through his hair once or twice, held his palm up to his mouth and breathed on it to make sure every sign of his garlic-tofu sandwich had disappeared and then breathed in heavily. Now he had his chance. He was going to ask her out.

_Ok, B.B you the man. You can__ do this, you can do this c'mon. C'mon..._ he told himself. Raven still hadn't noticed him. Or she _pretended_ that she hadn't. Because that is how Raven acts. Yeah she is a witch, huh?

Beast Boy walked over to the table and raised his hand in a "hello there!"-gesture. "H-hi Ra-ra-ven," he stammered feeling a little insecure, "Would you-" "No," she cut him short without even looking at him. His hand immediately lowered and he could feel his heart shatter. He sighed. Raven kept on ignoring him for an extra five minutes and then she looked up at him. "Are you still here?" She asked coldly. He swallowed something. "No," he instantly answered and turned around to walk out of the living room. Raven, that cold, heartbreaking witch, continued reading in her book like she hadn't just hurt her best friend's feelings.

_...**Two hours later**..._

Raven was still reading in her book when Beast Boy again showed up. She could at least listen to him! With steady steps he walked over to the dinner table again. Again he raised his hands but before he uttered any words he was hit hard in the back by a flying kick of Boy Wonder himself. With a loud outcry Beast Boy fell to the floor and landed under the table, completely knocked out by Boy Wonder's boywonderous ninja-haijarh-kick. Robin smirked and ran his perfect fingers through his smooth, soft-silk, boywonderous, spiked-up hair, which made fan-girls go crazy with desire. He cast a glimpse at his reflection in the window and thought to himself: "Dickie-boy, you're soooo _**HOT!**_" Raven still pretended she hadn't just seen "Dickie-boy" knock over her fellow green team-mate. Robin adjusted his mask like it was a pair of really hip sunglasses and cleared his throat slightly. _She was sooo gonna fall for his smooth-guy attitude. - Chicks always fell for his smooth-guy attitude._ Raven looked up from her book at the noise, threw one look at the Boy Wonder standing beside her, looking as boywonderous as ever. He gave her a self-satisfied smirk. She stared at him blankly for a while.

"Ooh... Pain. My back." Beast Boy muttered from underneath the table. Raven rolled her eyes and sighed. Robin grinned even wider. She was sighing at the little unimportant grass stain. And in a minute she would ask him out, and he would pretend, that he had better to do, "but, ok" and he would keep his position as the irresistible boy wonder. Raven again moved her gaze down in The Book of Azar and spoke: "Beast Boy, if you let go of my leg, we'll go out for pizza." and then Boy Wonder dropped his masculine jaw.

Beast Boy let out another squeak, of joy that is, and immediately jumped out from under the table. Raven got up, her expression still blank, and closed her book. She walked past Robin like he wasn't there and took Beast Boy's hand. Boy Wonder's gaze followed them as they walked out, their fingers intertwined, Raven leaning a bit against Beast Boy. "But, but..." Robin thought to himself.

_He_ was the hottest member of the group.

_He _was the smartest member of the group.

_He _had once got his mind read by Raven, and therefore he thought they had a bond.

_Ooooh, he __**so**__ wished._

_End of first idea_

Okay, this was no fun at all but still:

Yaaay! I deserve a cookie! The idea could've been quite fun, but I'm not talented enough to write it as good as that and so on and so forth. Hope you liked it, and if you didn't, tell me what could've been better. Remember I'm Danish so if it has anything to do with terrible grammar, small vocabulary or bad spelling, feel free to correct me in a friendly tone, thank you. Any other ideas of how you would like to see "Boy blunder" handled is also very welcome. R&R and all that stuff.

Keep cool, manchen! XD


	2. Darn that light switch

How to handle Wonder Boy

Hello! I am very happy right now. Wanna know why? – I got reviews! And overall they were satisfying. I'd never expected anyone to actually say they liked it, but people who reviewed it, was very polite.

Thanks to: **Ahilty**, thanks **Jack Lennon, **thanks again, **Kevorkian**, actually, "manchen" is a German word and means something along "everybody", **Simon System** - Beside Kevorkians review, yours was my favorite. Life _is_ too short for pointless bashing fics... Now let's get on with 2nd chapter! **Agent of the diving one**, Um, after consulting my dictionary a lot of times I finally grasped the meaning of your review. If only I had that vocabulary! I agree with all you say, I especially like the idea of something happening to Robins oh-so-precious hair mwaha but still something is bothering me. What is a "dissing contest"? I'm kinda lost on that word... And finally: **Nothing but a dreamer**: OMG, how I love that expression! "drop-you-like-a-rock attitude"... pal, you've just saved my day! RaeRob-shipper, huh? I welcome you!

This is just a stupid daydream so please don't take it for more than it is, ok? -ok.

_"Darn that light-switch"_

"Every dark corner..." Robin muttered, hauling himself up with assistance from the girder."You're only in my mind... only in the dark." Slade stood silent and listened to the little bloody mess speaking. He was going to kill that little brat anytime now... He just needed Robin to say something which he could respond to in a smart way and then finish him off. And it wouldn't be long. Robin always had a great lot of cheesy lines. As Slade stood in his thoughts, blocking the Boy Wonders babbling out, Robin finally said something Slade would be able to use.

"_My friends are right. You aren't real!_"

Slade smirked. This was it. Now, little Boy not-so-wonderous Wonder was gonna get it! Slade pulled back his clenched fist and laid all his weight into the punch. And with a roar of victory he jumped towards Robin.

"I'm real enough to finish you!" Slade shouted.

Robin gave a self-satisfied smirk. Now he was going to make Slade disappear for good – And even with a smart heroic line! Too good to be true, wasn't it? His hand found its way to the light switch and turned on the light.

"Lights out, Slade," he groaned, tired from all his bruises and cuts. He looked up, expecting to see the figment of his imagination gone. He was hit hard in the face with a black-gloved fist. "Ha!" Slade roared as Robin landed hard on the floor with a yelp, "You think it would be more pleasant to be killed with the light on? Oh god, you're a sissy!"

He kicked Robin hard in his ribs and an unpleasant cracking noise was heard. "And by the way," Slade added maliciously, "you should only use the term "lights out" when you actually turn them off." He bent down over the whining Robin who was nothing more than blood, sweat and tears.

AndSladebeatRobinandhediedtheend.

Oh and before any of you dare to review: I know I did almost nothing to change the story but just wrote the lines from "Haunted". The only difference is that this time the lights didn't stop Slade and Robin... Robin DIED! mwahahahaaa! Actually this idea has been in my head since the second time I saw "Haunted". I've always been day-dreaming about what would happen if it didn't help turning on the lights. I got some pretty interesting pictures in my head... But not anything I think would be good to mention here.

R&R no matter how much you think it sucked! Or face my squirrely wrath! Ahem, sorry. Too much Foamy rots your mind.


	3. The mask, perhaps?

**A.N**: You guys need a lot of buscuits. Know why? In DK we have something we call a "tude-kiks" which roughly translated means a "whining-biscuit" and when you tell someone to "go get a tude-kiks" you tell them to stop whining.

And now you're all probably: "But I haven't whined! What's wrong with you, you freak suffering from lack of social skills?" But trust me; By the time you've finished this piece of rubbish, you'll need a tude-kiks. Wanna know why? Well, first of all it doesn't show Robin from his bad sides. It's not funny. And it's not clever. It's not even "meh-heh"-ish. Explanation follows...

Thanks to: **Agent of the divine one** - Thanks for your ideas. I'll work on them. You're going to hate this chapter. Or maybe just dislike it... **Master of ya'lls fate** - Wow XD... if you read this chapter, you're going to be dissapointed. **Cartoonstar-fan**: Thanks for explaining it. **Whispering lillies**: Oh yes... a mess in the basement. Mwaha! I love being an author. **Manyara**: 5 minutes after I'd read you review I got the most amazing idea. Thanks! **Nothing but a dreamer -** About your idea: It could be a great story (I laughed my eyes out when I read that "where's Robin he owes me money..."-thing) , and I will use some of it. I don't like the idea of Slade taking over the TT's though... and are you sure you mean that "middle aged loser"-thing? ;D Y' know when I first watched TT in english I actually fell in love with Slade. That was pretty damn weird... Oh and by the way, you're going to hate this chapter. coughRobStarcoughcough. Please don't hate me!

Ahem.

_"The mask, perhaps?"_

"What is it about him?" Beast Boy murmured drowsily, changing his position on the couch. Cyborg changed the channel again. "What's what?" he asked back. Both of them were, as Starfire would say it, "potatoing the couch" and really bored. A couple of hours ago Robin had gone into Starfire's room, a smug smile on his face. Both of the boys knew what that meant. Robin and Starfire were going to "have some fun".

"Almost every girl seems to be crushing on Robin... why? What's so special about him?"

"Maybe... because he's the leader of the group?"

"I don't think all those fan-girls would forget about us completely just because of our team-leader."

There was no response to that.

"What, so you think every fan-girl is a groupie?" Beast Boy added, sounding a bit mad. Apparently he knew some fan-girls. Cyborg probably did too. They were everywhere – the fan-girls.

"Um, no..." Cyborg answered timidly. There was silence for a while until Beast Boy spoke up again: "Then maybe it's his good looks?"

"What? You think all girls like that kind of hairdo?" Cyborg raised his eyebrows and squint his eyes.

"Hmmm, no. I know a lot of girls who hate spiked up hair." Beast Boy added thoughtfully and sat up.

Both the boys thought about it for a while.

"You think it's his wit?" Cyborg asked and took a handful of popcorn from a blue plastic-bowl

"Yeah, Robin's smart... but a little too smart at times, don't ya think?" Beast Boy leaned over and reached for a helping of popcorns too.

Cyborg munched his popcorns thoughtfully. "Maybe," he swallowed, "it's his fighting skills, then?"

Beast Boy sat silent for a bit and munched on his mouthful of popcorn. When that was done, he swallowed and estimated his cybernetic friend's guess. "Yeah, but still, we're good at fighting too, none of us is stupid, we're both well-trained, I'd call us kinda handsome, we both have a sense of humour _plus_ we're not always after villains."

A soft moan from Starfire's room was heard the second after he had uttered that last statement. Both teens blushed and cleared their throat slightly. "Apparently, neither is Robin."

"I hate being reminded that every girl is drooling over Robin, when we're just supposed to sit here as losers." Beast Boy folded his arms over his chest and leaned back at the backrest of the couch with a scowl on his face.

"You don't think he's cheating on Star, do you?" Cyborg asked, a bit uncomfortable by the noises heard from Starfire's room.

"I think he and Rae have had their thing. And to be honest, I don't think that Robin would let so many fine girls pass him by..." Beast boy stated genuinely. Cyborg immediately cleared his throat. Beast Boy was right. Robin wasn't always that trustworthy. And Starfire was naive and easy to fool.

"But I still don't understand," Beast Boy muttered irritated, "If he's both unfaithful, arrogant and a smart-ass, then why do all the girls want him?"

_**...10 minutes earlier in Starfire's room...**_

Robin exhaled noisily and rolled on to his side. Starfire immediately crawled over to him resting her head on his chest. Both of them breathed heavily mildly exhausted from the previous events.

"So... that is what you people on earth calls "making love"..." Starfire proclaimed. Robin stroked her hair. "Yeah..." he muttered, feeling pretty good about himself. It had been good for him, especially for his ego – Now he had proof that he was irresistible. And Raven was going to be sooo jealous. He smirked to himself. Maybe next time Trigon's daughter wouldn't play so hard to get, if she knew she wasn't the only one... But still, Robin's ego used a little more fuel. It was only the size of the world now, so why not make it a little bigger?

"So... was it... you know, good for you?" He asked, blushing a bit.

"Yes, of course Robin..." She answered, beaming at him.

"_You SUCKED!" _she thought.

_(A.N – Um... Yeah, let's just imagine Starfire is more than a little "Miss beautiful no-brain who's completely BATUSI! about Robin"...)_

He flushed even redder, but couldn't help smirking a little wider. But then she asked him the same...

"Yes!" he answered quickly, "of course it was... you know... good."

"_Oh yes, I rocked, didn't I?" _he thought.

"I am glad to hear that," said Starfire and sat up, "Now I will immediately go and send a message to Tamaran."

He chuckled a bit. "Why?"

"I wish to inform my K'norfkaa that his Starfire is getting married." She giggled hereafter and blushed a little.

"Oh yeah that's go—Wait a minute! Married?"

"Yes. On my planet, to create such bonds means an offer of marriage."

Boy Wonder swallowed something. "Ehm, heh-heh, you're kidding, right?"

Her eyes got big and sad. "What? You do not wish to be married?"

"Um..."

"You do not... love me?"

"Yes! I mean, yes of course I do, but... oh just look at the time, I have to go..."

"Robin..."

He started to rise from the bed, the blanket tightened securely around his otherwise naked body. As he got closer to the door, his steps got faster and faster. "Robin," Starfire again said, a tone harder. "I... Havetogo!" he muttered and started running. He sprinted out of her room, panic starting to spread all over his body. "Robin!" Starfire yelled. A minute later a green beam shot through the door, leaving a big smoking gap through the tower. Robin started running for his life. Only wearing his blanket, he headed for the living room, trying to ignore the pissed-off alien princess closing in on him. "Come back!" she shouted from behind him. That only made him run a little faster. He exited the corridor and turned to get to the living room and from the living room out and away...

_**...About 10 seconds before Robin runs in, screaming like a girl, in the living room...**_

Both of the boys raised their heads at the sound of the door splintering. They heard Starfire yell and in the next minute Boy Wonder ran past them on the couch, apparently only dressed in a blanket.

"Heyguysbyeguys," they heard him mutter as he quickly left for the exit. They both turned and saw Starfire, eyes and hands glowing emerald, a few feet up in the air, aiming for Robin. In about ten seconds Boy Wonder and the Tamaranian princess had left, leaving the living room pretty messy and... Fried from the star bolts that had missed their target. Cyborg and Beast Boy blinked a few times before looking at each other with a blank expression that would have made Raven jealous. "What is it about him?" Beast Boy asked again. The sofa shook violently and in the next moment they heard a girl scream. Or perhaps it was just a boy sounding like a girl? Cyborg turned his head in the scream's direction. It came from the basement. They heard a large "BOOM" followed by another lout outcry.

"The mask, perhaps?" he answered and reached out for a second helping of popcorn.

Okay... don't kill me! Now you probably need a "tude-kiks" don't you think? Well, no matter how much you hated it, review. When I re-read it, I was like "well, this sucks." and then I was like "But I haven't spent 7 freakin' hours on this just to delete it afterwards!" So, there you go. **R&R **no matter how many "tude-kiks" it made you choke down, you hear me?


	4. Beast Boy's revenge or

You thought I had forgotten you, didn't ya'? Well, I think I had some kind of weird "robin-bashers-block"... But I wrote this in like... 4 hours and I had great fun imaging this little scene... mwehe And thanks to everybody for reviewing. I really appreciate it. Sorry if I haven't responded to your reviews, but I'm just so frikkin' confused lately... Anyway, hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Beast Boy's revenge or... Thank you again, Karma

Prologue

"_Look what he did to my 'do! I'm looking at two months of bad hair days!_"

Robin probably had fun, being Red X and all. Doing "fun stuff" and getting closer to Slade, la-didi-di-dah. Yeah Right! Just go on Boy Wonder, destroy what little self esteem I had left, betray our trust, waste our time and nearly kill us with a train! (I admit the last one was only me) We don't matter, do we? It's all about finding Slade!

"Slade blabla Slade blah. What? Friends? Trust? Consideration? Sorry, I'm too important for that. Now, on to Slade!"

Jerk... but you will pay... dearly.

Y' know, I've been pretty forgiving about all you've ever done. I was never more than a comic relief to you, was I? You made me feel like I wasn't good enough and made me look like a total dork. I could live with that. Just joke my way through it all and laugh at it. And hope that you would start thinking a little about your friends.

But then you had to forget us all, right? Your ego couldn't stand being patient with your friends. And you had to take what was left of my self esteem and... And fucking crush it under your way-too-big steel-soled boots like an unimportant insect! My hair! I know it's more like _your_ style to freak out over your oh-so-important spiky hair, but it's just because that whole story reminded me, how much I loathe you! Because you're a spoiled, inconsiderate brat! And now, Robin it's my turn. You're going to be sorry.

Nah, who am I kidding? We all know that all these thoughts are going to stay thoughts. I'll never have the guts to stand up to _**Dick**_. But I know what I'll do when karma finally becomes aware of me.

* * *

"Ah, uhn, oh man! Beast Boy, can you give me a hand here?" Robin's voice called.

I looked up at my alarm clock. 6:50 a.m. – hair time. Drowsily I laid the comic down and mooched into Robin's bathroom.

"What's up, Rob?"

"It's my hair. I can't seem to get it to look right. Could you help me and y' know... style it for me or something?"

My eyes got wide at his words.

Is today, The Day, destiny? Is today, the day where I make birdbrain regret messing with my hair and my trust?

"Beast Boy?"

...Apparently... yes!

"Sure, Robin, wait a minute and I'll be back to do your hair."

I didn't care why Robin suddenly wasn't satisfied with his 'do. I just knew that this was my big chance. I hurried into my room and quickly searched through my drawers.

"Where is it, where is it? I know I have it somewhere... got it!"

I smirked self-satisfied as I held up the little tube of superglue.

"Ok, Rob, I'm coming!"

"Thanks," Robin said when I reappeared in his doorframe, "I hate bad hair days, don't you?"

"Yeah," I replied casual.

_Oh, how right you are, Robin, how right you are..._

And there I was. A tube of superglue in my pocket, a great blob of hair gel in my right hand, Robin in a chair in front of me, his back turned to me.

"I'll try and see if I can do any better..." I said and hauled the tube up from my pocket. Quickly I squeezed a huge amount of glue out in my right hand and mixed it well with his cheap, bad smelling hair stuff.

"Just do your best," he replied, "And if you mess up, I'll just wash it out."

I smirked devilish behind his back.

"Sure," I said.

_Ooh you're going to be sooo sorry..._

_**About five minutes later...**_

"HeyStarByeStar," I laughed while I ran from Robin's room. He would look at himself in the mirror in about ten seconds. In about twenty seconds he'd laugh at my "prank" and try to fix it. In about twenty-five seconds he'd realize that there would be nothing he could do about it. I sprinted down the corridor, leaving a puzzled Starfire behind.

_Which leaves me with 3...2...1_

"Beast Boy! Get back here!"

I cracked up laughing and ran left, down a small aisle.

"Robin, what is happening? Why do you chase Beast Boy and why does you hair..."

Here Starfire's voice died out and was replaced by small giggles. Poor Star. She tried so hard not to laugh. I stopped to hear the rest of the conversation.

"Look what that jerk did to my hair! I look like... arh! And it's impossible to change!"

"Robin, you know looks does not matter. I ensure you, friend Beast Boy was only joking. And this new way of arranging your locks makes you look... you call it "funky", yes?"

A snarl was heard. Starfire giggled again. I tried really hard not to laugh insanely. My blood froze when a large hand landed on my shoulder.

"Hey B.B, what's up? Why are you eavesdrop-"

Cyborg looked around the corner and froze. His eyes turned the size of baseballs and his mouth opened wider and wider.

"What!" Robin yelled furiously.

I wished I was able to see the look on his face.

"Gee, Robin," Cyborg scratched his scalp thoughtfully, "you look like... like..."

"Like the newest member of "Cartoons"!" Robin yelped.

Then none of us could hold it back any longer and we all three collapsed on the floor, screaming with laughter.

**...Ten minutes later...**

I finally got up from the floor, still giggling, and dusted myself off.

"You," Robin whispered ominously and pointed at me, "You are so dead."

Before any of us could respond, the door to Raven's room opened and said telekinetic stepped out, her hood up and hiding her face.

"What's going on? Why is-"

Raven found herself at a loss of words when her gaze fell on Robin, who had turned tomato-red. She made a weird grimace and bit her lip.

"Wow... new hairstyle? Looks... mngh... funky..."

Cyborg again collapsed on the floor, kicking and punching and screaming with laughter. Starfire giggled again and Robin looked like he was about to cry.

_(A.N: In the real world it would probably be a "Clorbag Warblernelk-scenario", but that wouldn't be very funny, now would it?)_

Raven herself chuckled a bit. Robin sent me a dead glare.

"Now, I'll go and get this... ugh, I don't even want to know what you've put in my gel, out of my hair and when I'm finished I'll have your sorry little-"

**EEEP!!!!**

**EEEP!!!!**

**EEEP!!!!**

The corridor flashed red and Raven flipped open her communicator, Starfire flew over to her, and Cyborg finally stopped laughing and got over to Raven as well.

"Hello Titans. Long time, no see," a dark, well known voice said.

Robin turned pale.

"Oh no... Slade," he whispered, looking like he wanted to vanish off the earth if he could. I immediately started laughing. This was too good for words!

"I see that Robin isn't here. Doesn't he want to see me after all this time?"

Robin gave me another killing look before snapping the communicator from Raven.

"What is it, Slade?" he hissed into the communicator. There was silence for a moment.

"Wow..." the communicator then said and coughed slightly, "you sure have... hrmf... pgngma..." And Slade burst out laughing along with the rest of us. Robin turned even paler. Then he clenched his teeth. I saw it and gulped.

"You," Robin hissed at me again, "You are sooo _dead_!"

Eventually Slade (and everyone else) stopped laughing.

"Well... normally I would tell you about my evil plot, but it seems you're a little..." Slade paused and chuckled, "... busy. Let me know if "Cartoons" approve of letting you join them."

Then Slade hung up and the rest of us again cracked up laughing. At last we stopped and heaved a sigh to catch our breath. Robin clenched his hands and stomped back into his room. Before he closed the door, Starfire flew after him, looking worried.

"Robin, wait!"

"Yes?" Robin replied flatly. Cyborg gave Raven a small thrust with his elbow and she smiled and wiped her eyes.

"What is," Starfire looked first at the communicator, then at Robin, "'Cartoons'?"

Robin froze. His left eye twitched violently and a vein near his temples throbbed. One could see the black thunder-clouds gather above his head. Raven, Cyborg and I exchanged glances. Then we cracked up laughing again.

A.N: If you leave a review (and I expect you do, bucco) Then I would like you to answer a question: Which of these three girl's names do you like best - Juno, Saluki or Mononoke? Tell me what you thought about this chapter. ;)


	5. Bad hair day

Okay, about those three girl's names I mentioned at the end of last chapter? Just so we don't have any confusion:

"Mononoke" is pronounced "Moh-no-no-kay", "Juno" is pronounced "Yuno" (a little like "you know") with the same o's as in Mononoke, and Saluki... that's pretty simple. Which one do you like best? - It's for an avatar fanfic and I can't decide...

Mm-kaayy I am not totally satisfied with this. Read on and hear more. It's another hair-fic.

_Bad hair-day_

Robin was standing in front of his bathroom mirror admiring himself. He had just got dressed and now was the time to style his hair. He grabbed a blob of hair gel from a black jar and started doing-whatever-he-does-to-make-his-hair-look-like-a-roadkilled-porcupine.

There was heard a soft knocking on the door and Robin paused. Who was here to see him this early, in his own bathroom? He turned his attention towards the closed door.

"Robin? Are you in there? I need to talk to you," a small voice asked.

"Sure, Star. The door's open." He said and again looked at his reflection. He gasped. His hair didn't look like a road-kill!

He frowned and in the back of his mind he cursed Starfire's disturbance (is that the right word?). Now he had to re-do-whatever-he-does-to-make-his-hair-look-like-a-petrified-squirrel-on-crack.

The bathroom door opened and the Tamaranian princess entered Robin's bathroom.

"Glornark wirbel," Starfire beamed and walked over to Robin who was starting to do-whatever-he-does-to-make-his-hair-look-like-a-squashed-bat again.

"Yeah, good morning to you too," Robin murmured and fiddled a bit with one of his black locks.

_Cursed hair!_

"Friend Robin, what I am about to tell you, is of the utmost importance and very, very difficult for me to describe in its exact meaning."

"Hum... 'Kay," Robin ruffled up his hair, but still didn't succeed in making it look like an electrocuted emo sheep.

_(A.N "emo" because it's black...)_

"Robin, we have been through a lot together. We have defeated the Gordanians, faced the Red X and defeated Trigon, for a start. We have travelled many places together and we have shared many victories and failures."

"Yes a lot of _victories_."

"_Because I'm the leader of the te-eam, I'm the leader of the te-eam"_ Robin sang inside his head.

"Do you not agree?"

"Sorry, what?" he again tried to do-whatever-he-does-to-make-his-hair-look-like-a-toasted-skunk and again he growled when he didn't succeed. If only Starfire would say what she needed to, and then leave so he could finish.

"That we have... a very strong and special bond?" Starfire asked. She rubbed her hands together nervously.

"Yeah," Robin mumbled.

"_Maybe a little more gel in this side would... dammit! Now I have to start all over again! Why is it so hard to make one's hair look like a plane crash?"_

Starfire looked down at her feet.

"We have had the "ups and downs" but we have always stuck together, like two old glaburknors."

"Yes!" Robin yelled triumphantly, referring to his fringe which now looked like a pair of Beast Boy's worn-out trainers.

Starfire didn't know and beamed.

"Yes. And Robin, after all this time, I think I have... feelings for you."

"That's great Star," Robin said and tugged at his hair tryingly, "what do you think about this?"

"About... your hair?" Starfire asked confused.

"Hmhm..." Robin turned his head against her, "does this look right?" he held out a great lock of hair.

"Um, yes, Robin, your hair is as always very... beautiful." Starfire shrugged. "But about our bond..."

"Whattbout it?" Robin shook his head in order to get his hair to look as messy as always. But sadly he only made it look like a toasted cat, instead of a skunk.

"Robin..." Starfire said, "I... I love you."

Immediately Robin's communicator beeped.

"Oh, hold on, Slade's calling."

Starfire immediately turned red.

"Slade?" she asked nervously.

"Ssssh!" Robin hissed, "Hi Slade, what's up?"

Starfire stood completely petrified for those five minutes the call lasted. Then when Robin put the communicator away she reached down on one of her pockets and found a small scribbling pad.

_Ways of earthly expressing _it said.

Starfire skipped through a couple of pages and finally found her desired page.

_How to be sarcastic_ written by Raven, especially for her.

She quickly skimmed the page.

_When people aren't listening..._

"Robin," Starfire read, "do you know that Wor...-ld-war-three have just star-ted, that I am preg-nant with El...vis Pres-ley and that your hair is on... fi...-re?"

"What?!" Robin yelped and immediately started patting violently on his head, "Hey! It's not on fire!" he immediately relaxed and got back to doing-whatever-he-does-to-make-it-look-like-a-frozen-chinchilla-with-chicken-wings.

Starfire stared wide-eyed at Robin for a while. Then she frowned, clenched her fists and set her teeth. She knew from a reliable source that hair gel was flammable. And Robin had filled his hair with it!

"Not yet, Robin," Starfire said in a very maliciously, OOC voice and heated up a small starbolt, "Not yet..."

**...Here'sallamathere'sallamallamallamaduck...**

Citizens in Jump City had since the big explosion asked what could've caused it. But nobody ever found out. Because if all you're left with is the sad remains of Titans tower and an awful stench of cheap hair gel and burned rubber in your nose...

Then you don't have much to guess from.

A.N: I don't really know about this chapter... at first I thought about rewriting it completely because it left me with a sort of "meh-heh"-feeling. But I've decided to hear you guys' oppinions and then see whether or not I chose to repost it... Oh, and that reliable source? Credit goes to **Manyara**. He/she reminded me of flammable hair gel. Thank you Manyara!

And guess who have summer holiday? Me! Six wonderful weeks away from that --- school. Some of you dudes probably have two months... Whatever, in DK we only have six weeks. Mweheh...


	6. Backbiting

Okay, first of all: I'm sorry for taking so damn long, but I just didn't have any ideas! -growls- and now, I'm afraid that this fic has reached its end. So enjoy this chapter, it might be the last one!

Yeah, for now, I'm gonna mark this fic "complete" and get started with some of my other ideas. And then who knows? Maybe I'll return to this fic some day if I get any good ideas to more chapters.

This chapter was inspired by my friend who called me a ham-eater (she loves Robin, the poor girl) and asked me how I would feel if anyone wrote a bashing fic about me. So I started wondering, "How would Robin react if he found out about _this_ fic?"

The result is dun-dun-dun... this. I know that Robin's "OMG"-ism is overdone. - I think it's funny nonetheless. It also bashes his "obsessiveness" a little.

And I didn't mention chapter 5 in this one because... I just didn't. ;) you'll survive, I'm sure.

* * *

"This is a disaster!" Robin was sitting at the dinner table, staring angrily at his laptop. 

He was clutching the edge of the table madly, like he was about to splinter the whole thing to pieces. His left eye twitched once more.

"A disgrace, I tell you!" he yelled towards the ceiling, "A disgrace!"

Boy Wonder waited a second for somebody to react.

"_What is, Robin?"_

But there was silent as the grave in the living room. Robin looked around, only to find that the living room actually _was_ empty. Not even Cyborg and Beast Boy had showed up to play video games. Robin folded his arms over his chest and sulked.

"I need some attention," he cast another glimpse at the dreaded web-page.

"And I need it _now._"

Robin sat like a statue, scowling, with his arms crossed over his chest, for ten minutes. He noticed the door was about to open and jumped up from his seat. First he gasped, sounding terrified then he started yelling again, throwing his arms up in the air for emphasis.

"This is a disgrace! A disgrace, I tell you!" he yelled at his poor laptop.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Beast Boy and Cyborg, who had just entered the living room, turn their attention towards him.

"What is, Robin?" Beast Boy asked and quickly walked over to the dinner table.

"Oh, hey guys..." Robin said, trying to make his voice sound as just-stepped-out-from-my-own-universe-ish as possible, "I didn't notice you... It's just this fan-fiction story that upsets me..." and again he turned towards the laptop and shook his clenched fist at it. "Damn you FanFictionNet, damn you!"

"Whoa, fan fiction?" Cyborg asked.

"- As in 'crazy stories about us, written by Future Geeks of America'?" Beast Boy added.

Cyborg elbowed him in the side and the changeling immediately covered his stomach with his folded arms, gasping and wincing.

"I mean... um, stories about us, written by fans?" he said in a peevish voice.

"Um yeah... FAN-fiction, you know?" Robin said a bit annoyed.

"_Well duh..._"

Beast Boy sent Robin a toothless, geeky smile, and blushed.

"Heheh..." Then he winced again and rubbed his side. "Ow..." he mouthed.

Cyborg rolled his eyes at the hopeless little grass stain and then looked curiously at the computer screen.

"What's wrong with fan fiction?" He asked.

"What's wrong with it?" Robin yelled dramatically, "_What's wrong with it_? Hel-lo-ooo, what _isn't_ wrong with it? Look what some crazy girl has written! 'How to handle Wonder Boy',"

The title was said in a mocking voice with a grimace that would have made The Joker jealous.

Beast Boy and Cyborg exchanged here-we-go-again-glances.

"Aaaaannd...?" Both Cyborg and Beast Boy said looking confused, "What's it about?" Cyborg asked.

Robin sighed hopelessly. "It's about ME!" he yelled and slammed his fist down in the table beside his laptop.

Beast Boy and Cyborg again exchanged glances.

"And that's a... bad thing?" Cyborg asked.

Beast Boy immediately started laughing hysterically. Cyborg quickly silenced him by stepping on his foot.

"OW!" Beast Boy wailed.

"What?" Robin asked Beast Boy.

"Nothing," Beast Boy started giggling madly again, but a furious glare from Cyborg immediately got him to be quiet. The green shape-shifter instantly cleared his throat and his eyes flicked nervously around the room. "Nothing..."

Robin paused for a minute, not understanding the telepathic conversation his two fellow team-mates seemed to be having.

"Aaaanyway..." Robin started, "It's a bashing fic!"

Beast Boy and Cyborg looked at him blankly. Robin pulled at his hair frustrated and snarled.

"A _BASHING _fic! About me! Me, the Boy Wonder!" he yelled and waved his arms wildly in the air. "How could they do that to me?"

Cyborg looked curiously at the screen but Beast Boy again started laughing. A furious glare from Robin immediately quietened him.

"I mean... er... heh... Oh! How... unbelievably... um, terrible!" Beast Boy folded his hands in a praying motion and held his folded hands up to his cheek. "Oh no, not you! Oh how- Wait a minute, what's it about?"

Robin cursed Beast Boy in the back of his mind and pointed angrily at the screen. "About how much the author think I suck!"

Beast Boy and Cyborg again exchanged glances. This time Cyborg took a step towards Robin and laid hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon man, it's just a fan fic..."

"_FAN_fic? Have you read it? HAVE YOU?" Robin yelped hysterically and started stamping on the floor.

Silence. Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged brief glances again.

"Well, I'll tell you about it! 1st chapter: Raven ditching me, 2nd chapter: Slade killing me, 3rd chapter: Starfire kicking my butt-"

"Starfire?!" Cyborg asked, "Why?"

Robin turned from a slight shade of pink to a deep tone of scarlet.

"See? Why would Star want to beat me up? ME!"

Beast Boy coughed slightly, but Robin didn't notice and continued his rant:

"And 4th chapter: Beast Boy humiliating me and ruining my hair-"

"Really?" Beast Boy lit up. Cyborg elbowed him in the ribs again and Robin continued:

"And just look at the reviews! Here's one '_Hair gel is flammable and Robin obviously uses a lot of it._' They're plotting to burn off my head! And here: _'__I couldn't stand Robin's character on the TV show, and he got way more of the spotlight then he should have. Can anyone say "Mary Sue"?' __**Mary Sue?**_ I am **not **a Mary Sue! ... Am I?"

"Uh..." Cyborg and Beast Boy both moved their gaze heavenwards and coughed slightly.

"And the summary: _'I am so sick of him overshadowing everything else..._' Am I overshadowing you two?"

"Um..." Beast Boy gulped. Cyborg's feet suddenly became veeeery interesting.

"It's a disgrace! Can you guys believe it?"

Cyborg and Beast Boy again exchanged glances, but remained silent.

"And I'm OOC in every chapter! I'm not a selfish, arrogant, spoiled brat! And I'm **not** a Mary Sue!" He folded his arms and sulked.

"This is a violation against everything that's true and beautiful..." Robin muttered angrily.

"What is, friend Robin?" Starfire had unnoticed sneaked up behind the three boys and was now staring curiously at the laptop screen.

"Robin's upset about a bashing fic," Cyborg told her. Starfire's eyes got wide with curiosity.

"What is... bashing... fic? A new villain whom we must defeat?"

"Exactly Star!" Robin yelled and slammed a fist against his palm, "Whoever this 'Banan-nonne' is he or she is now society's enemy nr. 1!"

Cyborg briefly explained the concepts of a bashing story to Starfire.

"But I thought that Slade was the nr. 1 fiend of society?" Starfire said.

"Bah, forget about Slade! This is the worst crime ever committed and Banan-nonne must be stopped!" Robin shouted, his index finger raised.

Starfire, Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged nervous glances. Before any of them said another word, a dark bird-shaped shadow soared up through the floor, right behind Robin. Eventually it materialized and turned into Raven.

"Geeze, Robin..." she muttered bitterly. Her hood was up and the only thing visible underneath it was her scowling amethyst eyes, "why don't you yell a little louder? You haven't managed to cause an _earthquake_ yet."

Robin cleared his throat, "As I just said," he noticed, rolling his eyes.

"THERE ARE FOWL EVIL-DOERS LURKING AROUND WITH VILE PLANS AND WE HAVE TO STOP THEM!!!!"

Raven stared blankly at him for a while. Then she turned her head against Cyborg. "And who is it this time?" she asked sarcastically, "Another 'suspicious-looking' senior citizen?" Cyborg shrugged.

"Hey!" Robin snapped, "That poodle puppy was evil. EVIL, I tell you!"

"Riiight..." Raven muttered, "I see that this time, it's your laptop that's under suspicion..." she rubbed her temples, "...Dare I even ask why?"

"'A violation against everything that is true and beautiful'" Starfire quoted, "A so-called fic-from-fans of the smashing kind..."

Raven stared at Starfire for a while. Again she turned her head towards Cyborg, a puzzled look on her face.

"Um, she means a bashing fic. A fan fic," Cyborg explained. Raven's mouth turned to a small O and she nodded slowly.

"And this is just a wild guess: Robin's the one being 'bashed'," she stated, a trail of sarcasm in her voice.

"It's a conspiracy!" Robin yelled towards the ceiling, "I'm supposed to be loved by everybody! I'm Robin! Batman's sidekick! I'm..."

"Has he been like that all morning?" Raven whispered under her breath.

"You. Have. No. Idea," Cyborg muttered and rolled his eyes.

Raven snorted, "He has been like that ever since Slade disappeared..."

"Don't I know it," Cyborg replied sarcastically.

"And besides," Robin continued his ranting, turning redder and redder in the face, "I'm-"

"Who've written that fic?" Raven mumbled, shutting out Boy Wonder's gossip.

"Someone who calls himself 'Banan-nonne'..." Beast Boy joined in.

"Friends, I am worried for Robin... he seems to be starting on the ventilation of hyperness..." Starfire noticed.

Immediately the four Titans looked in Robin's direction. He was clearly upset (duh) and looked like he would be having a stroke any minute now. Raven sighed.

"Okay, whose turn is it?" she mumbled sourly, ignoring Robin who was now gagging and turning blue in the face.

"Um..." Beast Boy muttered and searched through his pocket. Finally he found a small notepad. He skipped through the pages. "Star did it last time..."

"Oh no..." Raven muttered, looking like a giant praying mantis just had crushed her house, "That means..."

"That it's your turn!" Beast Boy exclaimed happily, though whispering, "Well, good luck, Rae," he winked at her and sent her the big thumbs-up. Raven scowled at the gloating shape shifter and then growled and turned towards Robin, who had burst into a coughing fit.

"There, there Robin..." she mumbled, thunderclouds gathering over her head, "Why don't you tell me a little about this 'Banan-nonne'?"

Robin nodded and heaved a sigh. "Yeah, you're right. Let's do some research!"

Raven looked back at the three other Titans with a "do I really have to?"-expression on her face. They nodded and smiled encouragingly, all of them relieved that it wasn't _their _turn. She walked over to his laptop and after clicking through a few annoying EBay-ads (I hate those things), she landed on the dreaded author (also known as 'Banan-nonne' – ahem)'s profile.

"It says she's from Denmark..." Raven muttered, "Perhaps that could explain it. She obviously doesn't know you..."

"_Lucky gal..._" Raven thought grudgingly.

"Yes," Robin nodded manically, "yes that's why... she doesn't know me," he panted and nodded for a long time until he suddenly froze. "But... her reviewers are American/English..." he muttered dangerously, the red colour returning to his face.

"Uh-oh..." Raven mumbled covering herself and the others with a black shield, waiting for the worst. But much to their relief and/or big shock, Robin merely sat down by his laptop, clicking quickly through the web-pages skimming them all.

"Mean backstabbers..." he grumbled, "Not even your own fans can you trust!"

"What are you looking at?" Raven asked.

"I didn't look at all the reviews... maybe there's someone here who's been trying to talk sense with her..." he mumbled, with _that_ look on his face.

"Um... yeah of course," Raven replied.

"_Whatever..._"

"Aha! '_Isn't_ _life too short pointless bashing fics?_' See? The world hasn't gone completely nuts yet," he stated happily.

"Um, can I see those reviews?" Raven asked leaning down.

"Yeah, sure..." Robin mumbled and got up from his chair, "and if you should happen to find one of those backstab- I mean, happen to find out some of the addresses to some of them, feel free to tell me, alright?"

Raven shot him a 'don't even think about it'-look and sat down in the chair.

"To my... research," Robin replied with an innocent face.

"_More like re-__**venge**_" Raven thought sarcastically and looked at the screen.

"'Finally, he's put in place. What's so special about 'Birdie Boy? – Good job'" she read out aloud. Her expression immediately changed and she looked like she was about to sneeze.

"... Birdie Boy?" she asked and looked at Robin, who had turned scarlet in the face.

"Isn't it just far out?!" He exclaimed, waving his hands over his head, "I can't believe it!"

"... Oh! Oh... yes. Yes... very far out..." Raven muttered, her eyes flickering between Robin and the computer screen. She cleared her throat slightly. "Um, excuse me for minute..." she muttered and left the living room. The minute she had closed the door behind her it was silent for exactly ten seconds. Then they all heard the muffled sounds of someone (meaning Raven) laughing hysterically. Robin's expression turned from angry to dumbstruck. Small comments as "birdie boy?" and "oh my god" was heard through the wall and she started laughing again. Beast Boy, Starfire and Cyborg looked at each other. Beast Boy giggled a little. Cyborg smiled and bit his lip. Starfire smiled too and looked in Robin's direction. He _had_ to find that at least a little amusing, right? But Robin had folded his arms and was now scowling and sulking.

"This is _so_ not good for my ego..." he muttered grudgingly, while Raven's laughter found its way throughout the entire tower.

* * *

And here this fic ends (for now). Hope you liked it, tell me what you thought about it, all that. ;) 

And now we're at it, I'd like to make a little advertisement for my one-shot "the drugs don't work". It hasn't got any reviews yet, and I'd like to hear what people thought about it. It's about Terra after "Betrayal"... if you're interested you know where to find it.

I'm outtie:D thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this fic! I couldn't have done this without you!

Tam Cora Ata Visa! ;D (It's from a Danish fantasy-story called "The silver horse". In the language they speak, in the book, it means "Take good care of my heart till we meet again"...)


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